Worrier to Warrior by Amanda Anderson
My journey to Worship U was certainly not easy. It all started a year ago with a vision that God gave me of myself singing and worshipping Him with streams of red, gold and yellow colour flowing from my mouth, lighting up the crowd around me. I didn’t know what this meant but I decided that I needed to find out. As with many desires, they start off as an exciting adventure and you cannot wait to see what God has in store for you. I had no idea how He was going to get me to Worship U or how I was going to pay for it, but I was filled with so much hope for the future that the uncertainty did not matter.
As the months went on and a new year began, I started to realize just how much I would have to trust in and lean on Him. It did not feel like I wasn’t getting closer to seeing this dream being realized, but was I willing to trust Him above what I felt? It takes true character to stick to a dream even when the excitement has passed, and boy did I learn so much about my character! I missed the deadline to pay the tuition, and after I had been given an extension to pay, my name was taken off the attendance list. This was a heart breaking moment for me. I began doubting that I was hearing my Father’s voice or that this was something He wanted me to pursue. The cracks in my character began to show as doubt and unbelief started to seep in and cloud the vision that He had given me. My emotions were all over the place. One day I would be overwhelmed by His goodness and peace, and the next day I would be drowning in my anxiety.
After praying about it, the team at Worship U felt that God said that I needed to be there so they put me back on the list to attend the course. I sat on my bed in awe of just how much I meant to Him. While I was willing to let go, He was moving mountains for me. I knew I had to make a choice, I was either going to believe what my Father had said or live in anxiety for the next few months.
“My covenant I will not violate, nor will I alter the utterance of My lips” – Psalm 89:34 I clung to this word over next months and as soon as doubt started to knock I would speak this over myself. I had to overcome so many fears and doubts, including the anxiety of telling my father about going to Worship U but I continued to hold onto His promise. Anxiety came to me in a good package, but when I started to combat it with the truth I realized that it was all lies that I was believing about myself and others.
The final week before I was due to leave, I had not gone for my visa appointment and I didn’t have the money to purchase my tickets. The feelings of frustration and dread came rushing in, and I had moments where I wanted to give up and accept that I wasn’t going. I wanted to do more, but the truth is there was nothing I could physically do and I had come to a point where it was all up to God. The prayers and words of encouragement from my LIV family, helped me to fix my eyes on Him and hold onto the vision He had given me. Once again I had a choice to make. I chose to fight for peace. I chose to believe that when God makes promises to His children He keeps them. I chose to believe that I serve a good Father and He would not alter the words which had left His lips.
I went for my visa appointment on the Wednesday, received the money for my tickets on Thursday morning and bought them straight away. I then picked up my passport on Friday morning and flew off to Redding on Friday evening. Can you even handle?! I am still in awe of Him and the way that our Father works. He is never too late and never too early. He knew what I needed and when I needed it. He showed up in all His splendor at the perfect time. During my 28 hours of traveling I kept pinching myself and thinking; oh my gosh this is actually happening, I am actually on my way! I didn’t realize it then but His love surrounded and enveloped me every step of the way.
I learnt that the biggest breakthroughs come in the process, and it is so important to be present in every moment and rejoice in your victories along the way. I am so thankful for His provision, but it was in the journey that I learnt and am still learning to stare my fears in the face and fight for the destiny that He has for me. His plans are beyond anything I could ever dream of, so I will continue to risk it all for Him. He delights in our risk; when we don’t know what we are doing, when we step out in faith and when we are obedient in the midst of the confusion. I can picture the smile it puts on His face.
Worrier to Warrior by Amanda Anderson